You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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