I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
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