Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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