just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Randomize
