why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Little spoons don't ask big questions
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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