if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
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