Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
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