FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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