Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I queefed so loud it echoed.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Randomize
