p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Randomize
