im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
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