**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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