How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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