how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
