come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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