Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
