So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
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