never play flip cup with pint glasses
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
either way he was missing a nipple.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Randomize
