Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
He? As in you personified your dick?
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
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