I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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