I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
