So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
