i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
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