My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
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