Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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