oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
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