Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
