i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I woke up this morning wearing my tux shirt and jacket, but no pants.
______ was pissed. My breath tastes like tequila and doritos, and I couldn't get it up.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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