I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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