and next time when you feel me up, do it right
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
