So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
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