Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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