Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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