Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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