Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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