talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Randomize
