Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
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