Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Randomize
