i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
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