People with herpes should wear stickers.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
