My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
