You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I got inside last night via doggy door
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
