i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Randomize
