i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Randomize
