note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Boobs speak an international language.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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