mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize