so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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