how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
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