I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
