Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
