We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
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