In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
