Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Randomize
