She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Randomize
