If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
