he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
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