singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
