like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Randomize
