I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
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