i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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