Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
