In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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