so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
it's not cheating when I paid for it
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
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