Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Randomize
