My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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