all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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