i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
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