So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Randomize
