Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
