White coat. Heels.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Randomize
