i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I love having hate sex.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
